Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Return of 'Am I a proper wargamer'

* You have reference books on each period / army you play

Yes. Lots. All over thye house. And garage. 1pt

* Having played so many different games you confidently quote rules for a totally different period, scale or ruleset to the one you're playing at that moment

I play almost exclusively Peter Pig rules which while many have common mechanics also have their differences. Which does lead to some confusion when I'm umpiring. 1pt

* You have lied to your partner / spouse about how much you've spent on the hobby

Lyin is a bit strong. Not really discussed is more accurate. 0pts.

* You get genuinely excited when a package arrives in the post - then hide it upstairs quickly before your partner sees it. If your partner finds it first, you lie about the contents.

Yes, hide it upstairs. No, if she finds it I own up. 1/2pt

* You have joined a re-enactment society (5 points for this one!)


* You have played in an unsuitable venue

If you count very cold garages, yes. 1pt

* You continue to search for the perfect Napoleonic / WW2 / Ancients / ACW etc. rule set (knowing that it doesn't actually exist).

Not really. Happy with my RFCM rules. 0pts.

* For that reason you have developed your own house rules for certain periods. And think them far superior to the original author's efforts.


* You have returned from a wargames show and sneaked upstairs to hide the stash.

Yes. 1pt.

* You have an irrational aversion to some genres and vow never to play them regardless of how much fun they look. Like Dystopian Wars, 6mm Napoleonics, Warhammer 40k, Malifaux etc.

No, I'll play anything.

* You have made your own wargames scenery.

Yes, lots. 1pt

* You have reached a painting 'wall' ("If I have to paint another f________ Gaul, I'm going to scream")

Many times, most recently my AWI collection. Love the figures but for some reason struggled to get over the finish line with them. 1pt.

* You have lost - and regained - your wargaming mojo.

Several times. Always comes back with a bang though! 1pt.

* You have the occasional (and short lived) sense of guilt with your wife/children when complaining to them about the money spent in clothes, shoes or toys/Xbox games when you have £200 of unpainted metal stuffed in an upstairs drawer.

Occasionally. But, its my only vice. I just never ask how much the latest pair of shoes/dress/handbag cost. 1pt.

* You have done armies in different scales for the same period (e.g. ACW in 28mm, 15mm and 6mm).

ACW from 2mm to 25mm. 1pt.

* You have jealously coveted someone else's troops (if Ian pops his clogs, I'll be round his house with a Transit van before he hits the ground).

Yes, of course. 1pt

* You have laughed (secretly or otherwise) as someone else's paint job (Marks' purple camels come to mind)

I would like to say no but in all honesty, yes. Yes I have. 1pt.

* You have provided a piece of useless trivia relating to the troops on the table to show off your wargaming knowledge.

Probably but dont recall.

* You have contradicted someone elses' trivia - demonstrating your superior knowledge and giving you a warm glow inside.

Almost certainly not.

* You have caused a major disaster on a wargames table (spilling a pint, collapsing the table, dropped someone else's figures on the floor). Mark has flattened two tables in the past year - and he was losing both battles....

Yes. Toms dwarves years ago. Picture a boxfile, partly overhanging the table edge. And me removing figures from the half of the box actually on the table. 1pt.

* You have cheered when an opponent's dice lets them down at a critical point (I have literally danced in front of someone when he failed a morale roll)

Yes, but only in good humoured jest. 1pt.

* You have lied to your partner about going gaming. "Mothers' not very well - just popping around to see her. I'll be back in about - oh - seven hours".


* You have lied to an attractive woman (man) about your hobby.

Yes, my wife when I first met her. Always a tricky point in a fledgling relationship to own up to this hobby. 1pt.

* You have made an opponent cry. It doesn't count if they are under 8 years old though.

What? No.

* You have painted the same army in the same scale more than once (Monty, you dawg!)

Yes. ACW. 1pt.

* You have reference books on armies you haven't even got (I have books on ECW, ACW, SYW, 30YW yet not one solitary figure for any of these periods).

Yes. I dont game every period  I'm interested in, just dont have the time. 1pt.

* You have bought figures for a period you have never and will never play - because they were cheap. 

Cant think I have.

* You have inflicted grevious bodily harm on a dice that has let you down. This includes the guy who used to drill holes in them and impale the offenders on cocktail-stick stakes and Big Lee taking an axe to one offender.

No but I love the cocktail stick idea!

* You blog or have a web-page about your Wargaming activities

Hello? 1pt

* Your book collection is almost all war and wargames related

Yes. I'm sure my wifes family think I am some right wing war monger. 1pt

* You critique 'war' movies (especially Hollywood war movies) for historical accuracy (like the use of American tanks - Pershings I think - to represent German Panzers in the 'Battle of the Bulge'.)

Yes. The Battle of the Bulge. Also the use of carbines by the British Infantry in Zulu Dawn. 1pt.

* You spend car / train journeys checking out the lie of the land - considering which way you would attack from and whether it would make good wargaming terrain.

Frequentley! 1pt.

 So, 20 1/2 pts to add to my previous total giving me 36pts out of a possible 57 or in other words I am 63% wargamer.

Still not sure what that means but interesting all the same. I have seen some people hit the 70% mark and more. Wow!

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